Rain Rain, Go Away

Japan has a grim history of suicide, so much so that ALTs are highly discouraged from ever playing the spelling game "hangman", for fear that some students may be reminded of a former friend or family member or worse, take the idea to take their own life. Any references to death and killing, even jokes, are discouraged in either Japanese or English. Once more, especially around high school entrance examination time, we are particularly cautious to give praise instead of criticism as this period of high stress and important test taking (and sometimes failing) can leave students feeling as if they have let everyone down, have no other opportunity if they miss the high school their were hoping for, or if they can't deal with the pressure to even go through with the future.

For this reason, I was at first shocked and overly cautious when I found this doll dangling across from the principal's door.

Look at how happy this little guy is!

Obviously a little doll of a person (possibly a ghost) was HANGING in plain sight! How was this okay?? Did one of the students put it there? Did it represent someone? It is some kind of message against the principal? Why wasn't it taken down by now??? How are we all not in an uproar about this???? *heavy breathing*

I almost didn't ask someone about it, thinking that pretty soon it would be removed before too many students were exposed to the suicide image. But, at the end of the day, there he hung, proud and smiling with only myself raising an eyebrow. Unable to read the scribbles on his little skirt, and unable to stand the curiosity anymore, I asked around the teachers room.

Turns out, this little doll isn't of anyone in particular, but of a monk. He is call Teru Teru Bozu (照る照る坊主) or "Shine Shine Monk". Oriental monks have shaved heads, so the sunshine (teru is the sound of sunshine, ya'll) reflects off of their hairless scalps. There may have been a rhyme that was released in the 1900s about the specific sunshiny monk, but my teachers weren't sure about that (Wiki it up if you'd like to learn the rhyme). During the rainy period, of which there are a TONS in Japan, makes kids just as eager for sunshine on certain days as it does Western children. But instead of singing Little Jimmy who wants to play, they make these monks and hang them in the window or a common spot to wish for good weather.

I ended up spotting quite a few of these little guys at other schools before sports tournaments and again this weekend before the Ise Giant Shrimp Festival. So, no worries, friends! This is a good thing.  No need for the panic, just some sun screen for the good weather that is hopefully on the way.

Japanese Driving Test: The Horror...The Horror!!

First of all, I'd like to say that I am way overdue for a blog. I have so many half finished or ideas penned down, but that doesn't mean  a thing if they never get posted! So to make it up to you, I have a doozy of an entry.

Second, I'd like to say that if you know what book I was referencing in the title of this entry, then you are hereby awarded 1200 literary points! Feel free to exchange these for such valuable prizes as "Book Club Street Cred", "Smarty Pants Status", and hugs from every English and literature teacher that thinks their students never retained anything. For those who didn't know (or who just want a quick reminder), I'll post the answer at the bottom of today's post.

Now to our topic for today: the Japanese driving test.

I'm afraid that this can only end in tears. Let us begin this fairly odd tale...

Once upon a time, as the Embassy of the United States Tokyo, Japan puts it,

The Embassy spoke with the Superindendent of the License Division, Traffic Bureau, of the National Police Agency (NPA) to learn that prior to June 2002, Japanese law had allowed foreigners bearing international driver licenses to drive indefinitely in Japan.
As of June 2002, however, foreigners are only able to drive on an international driver license for up to 12 months, then have to have applied for and received a Japanese driver license. Long term foreign residents in Japan who attempt to avoid taking a driving test by continually renewing their international driver license abroad every 12 months will now be required to prove that they obtained the international permit at least three months before re-entering Japan. Tourists and others coming to Japan for short stays may drive with an international license obtained at any time before their arrival into the country.
The driver test consists of hearing, eyesight, written and practical/road test components. Citizens of 21 countries, not including the United States, are exempt from taking everything but the eye test. Some of these countries met the exemption requirement because the NPA examined their domestic traffic safety record and determined that it was at least as good as Japan's. Other nations exempt Japanese license holders from a driving test.
Canada received approval on February 1, 2003 after a lengthy (3-4 years) review. Canada had to submit responses to a lengthy questionnaire, regarding each of the country's 13 provinces and territories. In order for the U.S. to be exempt from the driver test requirement, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs must instruct the Japanese Embassy in Washington to contact each of the 50 states and provide them with a questionnaire. Once the 50 individual questionnaires are collected, they will be translated into Japanese and studied by the National Police Agency. In addition to individual state safety records and procedures for acquiring a license, the National Police Agency will be looking closely to see if each of the 50 individual states exempt holders of valid Japanese licenses from taking state road and written tests.
We shared with the NPA statistics which showed that the United States had a risk value much lower than that of Japan's with respect to fatalities as a share of vehicle kilometers traveled. We were told that the Japanese police still needed to see the safety records of each individual state. The Police are also concerned to see if each of the 50 individual states exempt holders of valid Japanese licenses from taking state road and written tests (many do not).

With that lovely bit of politics goes the stress and bane of every non-Canadian currently in the rural areas of this country: I have to take this test????? Come on, already!

Even as a college student, I heard the gruesome stories of foreigners who went to get their Japanese license: They failed me six times just to take my money!! They'll fail you on purpose to see if you'll come back!! It is so difficult, there is no way you can pass the first time!! They're heartless, I tell you!! (granted, some of these tales seemed difficult to believe at the time, but everyone was saying the same thing - the test was hard, expensive, bothersome, and racist)

I was so worried about taking the Japanese driving test before even coming here that when I applied for my international license back in the USA, I forced the AAA agent to tell me twice that I would be able to renew this license and not have to take the Japanese one. She assured me of this. And I believed her. There in lies my folly! Technically, she was telling the truth, but it only works if I return to America (WHICH I TOTALLY DID!!!) and obtain a new international license before coming back to Japan (which I didn't, so, yeah...). For you see, ladies and gentleman, the Japanese drivers test is not the mere hassle that the American DMV makes it out to be. No, no, no. The Japanese made improvements to that nightmare. Here are some of the 'joys' that can be expected from the test.

1. Unreasonable scheduling. The Japanese government offices work like many other companies. However, while other companies report employees staying late into the night, dying from exhaustion at their desks, or logging incredibly long hours at work, public servant sector offices maintain VERY strict hours of operation. Except in the case of national holidays, the Japanese driving centers are open ONLY from Monday to Friday from 8ish until 5 with one hour breaks between the morning and the afternoon. No Saturdays, no late hours. In order to come to their office to do anything, you must miss going to yours. In order to do anything at the driving center, I was required to take my paid vacation time since there was no other way of going when I was actually off work myself. What a nightmare.

2. Lengthy waiting. Even with their decreasing population and living in a rural area, Japan still has a high population. This means that waiting rooms will be filled and lines will be long. I did not include this section to say that you will wait in line long. They are very efficient in filing everyone through. I included this section because there is so much waiting out of line that is required. At first, you'll need to translate your license into Japanese. You'll take it to an office and then have to WAIT for them to mail it back to you before you can even think about making an appointment at the driving center. Then you have to make an appointment, go to the center, and WAIT for the 15 minute window of time when the desks open their windows (see what I did there?) and are willing to talk to you. Then you must WAIT in the waiting room (where else, right?) until they have finished all the paperwork. Then, if you pass the paperwork and interview step, you must make an appointment to come back another day (a completely DIFFERENT day!) to take the written test. On that day, you must WAIT to take the test with everyone else who is taking it during your time frame, and some slackers will be so late that your testing time will be pushed back an hour. Then you must WAIT to get your results from the window people again. Then you must sign up for a driving test appointment to come back another day (a completely DIFFERENT day!) to take the driving test. WAITING happens again on that day as you file into the car one-by-one and take the test one after the other, only hearing if you pass or fail after WAITING again when the last driver has finished. If you fail any one of these steps (and I failed the paperwork and driving test part - a 2200¥ charge per test, I'm told), then you must add more WAIT time to your total process. Also, in the spring when all the high school grads and foreigners who weren't warned about this entire process are scrambling to get their license, the WAIT time between steps increases due to clogged scheduling. It took me 20 days between my first driving test and my retest because there just were no free openings during that time. Bring a book or sudoku - this is going to take a while.

3. Inconvenient locations. My lovely prefecture of Mie is oblong in shape and has only one driving center and one translate-your-license-into-English office. They are inconveniently located in the same city smack in the middle of the prefecture, in our capital of Tsu. That is great if you live there, but for those of us in the areas north of Kameyama/Suzuka and south of Matsusaka, that is quite far! I'm out and over in Shima. It takes me two hours to get to Tsu! Remember all the steps required in the last paragraph? Now add driving time to and from the capital city and you can see what I'm so miffed when I need to take time off work just to travel all that way and back again. Even the workers at the driving center were shocked when they heard where I lived. Would it kill them to open other driving centers? Even the state of Wyoming has seven DMV locations!! Outrageous.

4. Strict judging. The stories are true. The judging for this test is serious stuff. You can not be sure who will be your driving proctor or what mood they will be in. Some take off if you aren't far enough left, if you stop too much, if your turns are too tight, if you look too far over your shoulder, if you don't look over your shoulder, if you take too much time to look over your shoulder. It is craziness disguised as having a system.

5. Pricy alternatives. There are ways to sidestep this whole process. You could walk everywhere (my farthest school is two hours one way by walking - said the girl who did so on Monday). You could cab everywhere, which is super expensive! You could take a bus, if there even is one, if you can even find the bus maps, if they even go out where you want them to go at a decent hour. You could become an extreme bicyclist. Or you could attend drivers school. "Now, Alexandra, I went to drivers' ed when I was younger. It wasn't so bad." No, no, I'm sure it wasn't. But did it cost you hundreds of dollars? Did it practically guarantee you a license if you went with them? Did it have its own professional-grade practice course? No, no, I'm sure it didn't. But if you want to go those options, power to you. Let me know how that works out and if your wallet thanks you afterwards.

Something I can't argue about is their honesty. Most "how to get your Japanese drivers license" sites and blogs are all plain and clear about all the rules and different points you could possibly fail. These other sites give personal accounts of how the writer and other people the writer tested with or knew did. The stories may seem far fetched and odd but they are real. However, none of thyme can prepare you for the frustration of actually being in the process. 

All of these factors equals a pain-in-the-rear, red-tape-gallore, too-much-work-for-too-little-reward experience that motivates many foreigners to become extreme bicyclists or to move to the cities and avoid driving at all costs. Quite honestly, I would rather just renew my American license forever and ever and never take the Japanese one. But, if I can't drive, I can't get to work. If I can't get to work, I don't have a job. If I don't have a job, then I can't stay here. That's how they get 'ya. With all this complaining and moaning and gnashing of teeth, I'm sure that after all of this, I'll be grateful that I stuck it out until the end. I'm sure that I'll feel fulfilled. I'm also sure that I will tell EVERYONE AND THEIR BROTHER to start the Japanese driver's license procedure as soon as they start their job assignment, too. Better safe than sorry, and I'm feeling pretty sorry right now.

To all the foreigners out there (who can read English and have stumbled upon this blog entry), start now! Start while you still have 11 months left on your international drivers license! Start during the off season so that there will be fewer people to take up space in the lines and the testing spots! Heed my words~~~! You have been warned!!!



Today's title inspired by a quote from  Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad :)

Going to Ise: Things on Google Maps Are Closer Than They Appear

Turns out that I was at the outer shrine that first day in Ise.

I'm going to Ise Shrine today with some friends, but I remembered that I still hadn't finished writing the post from my last Ise trip. At that time, I had thought that I had visited Ise Shrine, but maybe I hadn't really. We'll find out today. Either I'll be going to the exact same spot, or finding a new treasure.

"What is so special at Ise?" you may ask. That is a valid question, but one I will allow Wikipedia to take over. Wiki, what are your thoughts on the matter?

 Bird view Area of the Jingū(Naikū)

Ise Grand Shrine (伊勢神宮 Ise Jingū^?) is a Shinto shrine dedicated to goddess Amaterasu-ōmikami, located in the city of Ise in Mie prefecture, Japan. Officially known simply as Jingū (神宮^?), Ise Jingū is in fact a shrine complex composed of a large number of Shinto shrines centered on two main shrines, Naikū (内宮^?) and Gekū(外宮^?). 

Bird view Area of the Jingū(Gekū)

The Inner Shrine, Naikū (also officially known as "Kotai Jingū"), is located in the town of Uji-tachi, south of central Ise City, and is dedicated to the worship of Amaterasu-ōmikami. The Outer Shrine, Gekū (also officially known as "Toyouke Daijingu"), is located about six kilometers from Naikū and dedicated to Toyouke no ōmikami, the deity of agriculture and industry.^[1] Besides Naikū and Gekū, there are an additional 123 Shinto shrines in Ise City and the surrounding areas, 91 of them connected to Naikū and 32 to Gekū.^[2] 

Purportedly the home of the Sacred Mirror, the shrine is one of Shinto's holiest and most important sites. Access to both sites is strictly limited, with the common public allowed to see little more than the thatched roofs of the central structures, hidden behind four tall wooden fences. The high priest or priestess of Ise Shrine must come from the Japanese imperial family, and is responsible for watching over the Shrine.
The two main shrines of Ise are joined by a pilgrimage road that passes through the old entertainment district of Furuichi. The region around the shrines consists of the Ise-Shima National Park and numerous other holy and historic sites including the "wedded rocks" (Meoto Iwa), and the Saiku (the site of the Heian period imperial residence).^[3]

Nice work, Wiki. That will be all for now. I think that I may have gone to the outer shrine before, which means if today is the inner shrine, I would have seen it all!! Mwahahaha!! But how did I go to the outer shrine before? Isn't Ise far away from Shima? Well, it all happened on Google Maps...

A really cool building I found in Ise. Satoko says
that it is a boarding house for foreigners.
I'd love to see the inside!

... My city (which is much more of a town - sorry, Shima, but let's be honest with ourselves, okay?) doesn't have many things that larger cities do. Oh, it has things, and maybe imitation places of the larger towns, but not exactly the same thing. For example, we have banks here. And some of the banks are related to other banks in the larger cities in that they are all in the same network or company, but aren't exactly the same. So if you have an account at one of the larger city banks (like I do), you can withdraw money at the smaller ones, but you can't do anything else. And for banks in Japan, if you want anything changed (I feel like I've said this before), you have to be there in person on regular business days between the hours of 9 and 5 with all forms of identification and all documents relating to the items you wish to change. I wanted to change my address, the spelling of my name, and get a new cash card, so I had to go to the closest bank I could: Ise.

Finally in Ise I found the entrance to the
outer shrine.

Trying to live on the cheap, I went to a nearby, but surprisingly small train station. On the map, it looked really close, but I needed to get on these side streets and nothing was straight and there were these hills, and Japan doesn't believe in street signs, so like any good foreigner, I ended up getting lost. Wandering around for a bit, I started to head back in the opposite direction, when I heard the sound of an engine. It was the first car I had seen all day, so I stuck out my thumb hoping to get some proper directions at least. The owner of the car was extremely concerned that I wouldn't get there, so he offered me a ride. This may seem extremely dangerous, but let us all remember that I am in rural and safe Japan. It is actually better that I hitch-hiked with this little Japanese grandpa because he had such a heavy old person's accent and dialect that I couldn't understand 60% of his banter as we went up and down the roads. Something about his daughter.....English.....living in Japan.....fine weather today.....going to the market..... But he seemed happy for me just to smile and nod, say "really?" and "ooh, how nice" a lot.

Would you like to sweep this ENTIRE walkway
(it was very long) for a living?

As I said, he took me to the very small station, but it wasn't a station at all. It was a platform. There was nothing else there. Next to the platform, there was a small pond. With ducks. That was it. There was nothing else there. I don't even remember seeing a timetable. There was a machine that asked you to take a ticket, which I did, and you were expected to either pay when you got off or pay the conductor. I'll be going back there again today, so hopefully I don't get lost again.














The rest of the day was rather uneventful. I had brushed up on my bank terminology before going and I already had the maps set and ready to go, so I was able to get to the bank and then to the post office easily. I had everything in hand, so I changed all my information, update my bankbook, and chatted with all the people so that I would be able to access my money from Shima without more frequent trips to Ise. I finished all of this around noon, so I treated myself with a trip to the Outer Shrine, which was very close to the post office.

Not a riveting story, perhaps, but some interesting insights into life here in the land of the rising sun.

The bridge leading up to the outer shrine and a viewing area for the shrine lake.

Problems the First Week: Cash Cards and Addresses

Exiting Shibuya Station, you are met with a jungle of
businesses, shopping, cafes, and clubs.

Instead of going down to Nagoya for training, I decided to spend the first week back in Japan up in Tokyo to see my friends, catch the Wadaiko concert and enjoy being in my old haunts.

"And while I'm in the big city with all of this free time," I thought to myself, "I may as well get a few things done."

"Excellent plan, self," I told me. "Let's go to Shibuya and take care of banking and cell phone plans."

A statue of a loyal dog named Hachiko.
According to a famous story, the dog waited for his master
every day in front of Shibuya Station,
even in the years after his master had passed away.

So me, myself, and I went to Shibuya (usually pronounced Shi-BU-YA! by the American visitors, and makes me remember Ron Stoppable) to visit the AU cellphone store and one of the branches of Mitsubishi Bank. First stop is the bank, but instead of going into the actually banky-bank building, I end up at a ATM only building. I tried to withdraw some money using my bank booklet, but while they would tell me how much was in my account, I couldn't access any of it. Oops! Reroute and start again. At the real Mitsubishi, I was directed upstairs by a doorperson (Japan has people who just stand at doors to greet you, but I use them as receptionists, too) and then upstairs again by a security guard (who was so bored that he was acting like a doorperson, so I treated him as a receptionist, too) and then was sent away ever so kindly and apologetically by the doorlady on the 3rd floor. While she was nice enough to point out that I had the right form for a new cash card (the thing keeping me from withdrawing money), I still didn't have my new apartment address from Interac. Without that, I could not proceed with the application. Bummed out, I descended the stairs and passed all of my doorpeople once more.

"That wasn't as productive as I would have hoped," myself signed disappointedly.

"Perhaps not, but it wasn't my fault," I told me. "Let's try our luck at the cell phone store."

Looking back toward the station, underneath the sakura.

Now, before I go further, let me say something my friend Gina would tell me all the time: Japanese people aren't necessarily scared of you or even of English. They are terrified of conjugating English verbs! What does that mean exactly? When out and about in Tokyo town, should I waltz over to a shopkeeper, pedestrian, or shopper, they will probably give the involuntary response of wide-eyed fear.  Have I done anything frightening? Well, perhaps besides waltzing in the city streets, no. But they know that I am not Japanese and, in my case, probably speak that horrible language that their country forces them all to undertake starting in middle school. They hated repetition practice in school, barely did well enough to pass their class before forgetting nearly all of it in college. Save for the wonderful phrases "This is a pen" and "My name is" most Japanese people only use English on their clothing or in some song lyrics. All of the sudden a real Westerner stands before them and "This is a pen" isn't going to be of much help. Luckily, I speak some Japanese (just a skosh), so this moment of fear is brief for my prey. Also, luckily enough, police officers, taxi cab drivers, and cell phone salespeople are so used to being confronted with foreigners that they no longer have the deer in the headlights reaction to us.

CJ and some new friends in front of te 109 Men's
Store with DBZ characters.

The AU store was adjacent to the first ATM Mitsubishi room that I had entered before, so I just went back to that place. Inside, I took a number and waited to be called up. I had a very nice cell phone employee who, even through his face mask (pollen and allergy season are upon us in Japan) spoke very clearly and nicely to me. We chatted for a while about what I was looking for in a phone, about the different data plans they offered, what I liked about my old Softbank phone (another Japanese company; I was sort of switching from AT&T to Verizon, if you'd like to think of it that way), which color case I preferred, some of their special offers, and how I intended on paying for it all. Everything was going smoothly, so I decided to warn him that I had left my cash card in America (maybe?). This was fine, and we were about to start the paperwork until he saw that my alien registration card had a blank space where the address needed to be. Once again, we could not move forward because my company had not told me of my new apartment. I must have made a face because he immediately offered to write out our entire decision process so that when I did get my address, I could just walk into the Shima branch of AU and display this cheat sheet instead of spending another hour talking with their representative. Thank you AU!!

Some cool boys being interviewed. When news and magazine
groups want to have opinions from fashionable teens, Shibuya
is one of the places they go!

Feeling more deflated, I traveled down the street to the next nearest Starbucks (the nearest one is the famous one across from the station and is always crazy full) where I found that they don't take gift cards from America. And that to access their free wifi, you first need to get online and establish a user id. Ugh!! Instead, I had a mango tea smoothie, sat in a comfy chair in the sunlight, and just enjoyed looking outside.

Magic!!

"I haven't lost anything but time," I tried to reassure myself. "And since I started so early, it is only about 2 pm."

"I agree," myself chirped. "Spending the rest of the afternoon wandering around Shibuya would be fine by me."

So me, myself, and I went off in search of more, lighthearted adventures, leaving bank problems and cash card crisises for another day.